Every year, hundreds of thousands of children in the United States are temporarily separated from their families when there are serious concerns about their safety or well-being at home. When a court determines that a child needs to be removed from their home, the child may enter the care of the child welfare system.
So what happens next?
For many children, the next step is placement with a foster family. Foster caregivers are trained adults who choose to open their homes and lives to children who need a safe, supportive place to stay. They may care for a child for a short time or longer, depending on the child’s circumstances and the decisions made by the court.
Whenever possible, the ultimate goal is to safely reunite children with their families of origin. In the meantime, foster families provide something incredibly important: a safe and caring home for a child during a difficult time. Their support and stability can make a lasting, positive difference in a child’s life.
Foster Caregivers
There is no single “type” of person who becomes a foster caregiver. Foster families may include married couples with children, single adults, or older adults whose own children have grown up and moved out. Some foster caregivers are young adults, while others are grandparents or empty nesters. Many different types of families and living arrangements can provide a loving foster home.
Before becoming licensed, prospective foster caregivers go through a screening process with their foster care agency. This typically includes a background check, a home assessment, and hands-on training. Training helps prepare caregivers for the responsibilities of foster care, including understanding how trauma and difficult experiences can affect a child’s behavior and emotional needs.
At the heart of foster care are people who have made a meaningful commitment to open their homes and provide children with safety, stability, and care for as long as they are needed.
Deciding
Choosing to become a foster caregiver is a meaningful decision that deserves careful thought. Before getting started, prospective foster caregivers should take time to consider why they want to foster and what they hope to provide. Being honest about your motivations and expectations from the beginning can help you stay grounded when fostering becomes challenging or stressful.
It is also important for everyone in the household to be part of the conversation. Fostering a child can affect family routines, relationships, schedules, and day-to-day life. Talking openly as a family can help everyone understand what to expect and consider how welcoming a foster child into the home may change family dynamics.
Foster caregivers should also understand that children in foster care may be coping with the effects of trauma, loss, or other difficult experiences. Providing a safe and loving home means being prepared to offer patience, consistency, and support—even when a child is struggling with big emotions or challenging behaviors.
The Child at Your Door
The moment a child arrives at their foster home is one that many foster caregivers never forget. A child may arrive at any time of day or night, often accompanied by a child welfare worker. For foster caregivers, it can be difficult to know exactly what to say or do in those first moments.
The most important thing is to stay calm, welcoming, and reassuring. Foster caregivers can introduce themselves, explain that the child is staying in the home because adults are working to make sure they are safe, and let them know that the foster family will care for them for as long as they are there.
A simple tour of the home can also help a child become familiar with their new surroundings. Introducing the child to the other members of the household and showing them where they will sleep can help the new environment feel a little less unfamiliar.
It’s important to remember that most children would rather be with their family of origin, even when that is not possible or safe at the moment. Foster caregivers cannot make this difficult experience disappear, but offering patience, kindness, and a sense of safety can help a child begin to adjust.
Between Homes
Once a child begins settling into foster care, they will likely have many questions about what is happening and what comes next. Foster caregivers should answer questions honestly and in a way that is appropriate for the child’s age and understanding. Children deserve clear, reassuring information without being given more details than they are ready to handle.
Foster care often involves regular visits with a child’s family of origin. At the same time, many other parts of life may be changing—such as living with a new family, meeting new neighbors, or starting at a new school. With so much unfamiliarity, creating a sense of consistency and stability can be especially helpful.
Familiar items, such as a favorite stuffed animal, blanket, or toy, can provide comfort. Keeping familiar routines, traditions, and daily rituals whenever possible can also help a child feel more secure and remind them that they are loved and cared for.
After visits with family, children may experience many different emotions. The transition back to the foster home can be especially difficult. Foster caregivers can help by remaining calm and patient, giving the child time to readjust, and offering a safe space to talk about their feelings when they are ready.
Going Home or Staying
Another major transition may come when a child is able to return home. This usually happens after the child’s family of origin has completed the goals and requirements set by child welfare professionals and the court.
Returning home can be an emotional time for everyone involved. Foster caregivers may feel deep sadness about saying goodbye to a child they have welcomed into their home and grown to love. At the same time, reunification is often an important goal for children and families. Honest, open communication and a positive relationship between the foster family and the child’s family of origin can help make the transition smoother and provide the child with a greater sense of stability.
Reunification with family is the most common outcome for children leaving foster care. This means foster caregivers often provide care for a limited period of time, offering safety, stability, and support while a child’s family works toward creating a safe home environment.
Sometimes, returning home is not possible or safe. In these situations, a child may be adopted, often by relatives or by foster caregivers who have already developed a loving relationship with the child.
Whether a foster caregiver provides a home for a few nights, several years, or a lifetime, their care and support can make a lasting difference in the life of a child.
Beyond Fostering
Becoming a foster caregiver is not the right choice—or the right option—for everyone. But that does not mean you cannot make a meaningful difference in the life of a child in foster care.
There are many ways to help. In many states, volunteers can become a Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) and advocate for a child’s best interests throughout their time in the child welfare system. Other volunteers may serve as mentors, tutors, coaches, or educational advocates.
There are also many ways to support children and foster families behind the scenes. Donating clothing, school supplies, toys, or other needed items can help meet a child’s everyday needs. Financial donations can also support organizations that provide services and resources to children and families involved in foster care.
Even a small commitment of time can have a lasting impact. Whether you spend an hour a month mentoring a child, volunteer your skills, or support a local organization, your involvement can help a child feel seen, supported, and cared for during a challenging time.