Siblings are often a child’s very first friends—and their very first practice partners for navigating relationships. They may argue over toys one minute and laugh together the next, but all of those everyday interactions can help children learn valuable social and emotional skills.
Through their relationships with one another, siblings have opportunities to practice listening, sharing, solving disagreements, showing respect, offering support and appreciating the things that make each person unique.
While sibling relationships naturally change as children grow, parents can help create an environment where those relationships have room to grow in healthy ways.
Make Time for Family Together
There is no one right way to spend time together as a family. With busy schedules, school, activities and work, family time may look different from one household to another. What matters most is finding regular opportunities to connect.
Share a Family Meal
Even one shared meal a day can provide valuable time to reconnect. Whenever possible, make meals a screen-free opportunity to focus on one another and talk.
The dinner table can be a comfortable place for children to share what’s happening in their lives, talk through frustrations, solve problems and simply enjoy being together. It also gives parents a chance to model healthy communication and respectful relationships.
If your children aren’t naturally chatty about their day, try starting with a simple question. You might ask:
- “What was the best part of your day?”
- “What made you laugh today?”
- “What is something you’re grateful for?”
- “Did anything make you feel frustrated today?”
Don’t worry if your children aren’t eager to answer right away. Keep the conversation going and experiment with different questions to see what gets them talking. Family meals can also become an opportunity for children to practice listening to one another—not just waiting for their turn to speak.
You can make family meals a group activity, too. Younger children can help choose a recipe, wash produce or set the table, while older children can help prepare ingredients or cook. Working together before and after the meal gives siblings another chance to cooperate and spend time together.
Plan a Family Game Night
Game night can be a fun way for siblings to connect, whether your children are little kids, teenagers or somewhere in between.
If competition tends to spark arguments, choose games that encourage teamwork or skip keeping score altogether. Let your children take turns choosing what to play so everyone’s interests get a chance to shine.
You don’t even need a stack of board games. Create a family scavenger hunt, invent your own game or challenge your children to combine two games and come up with new rules. You can also invite grandparents, cousins or family friends to join virtually.
Looking for something new without spending money? Your local library may have board games available to borrow.
Give Back Together
Volunteering as a family can help children learn about compassion, responsibility and the importance of helping others. Look for opportunities that fit your family’s interests and your children’s ages.
For example, your family might:
- Help collect supplies for a local organization.
- Make cards for residents of a senior living community.
- Knit or create blankets for families in need.
- Donate supplies or volunteer with an animal shelter.
- Participate in a community food or meal-packing event.
You can even create a family service calendar and let each child choose a cause that matters to them. This allows children to share their individual interests while learning to support the causes that matter to their siblings, too.
Work on a Project Together
A family project can turn everyday tasks into an opportunity to learn and cooperate. Choose something that gives each child a meaningful role, whether that’s planting a garden, organizing a room, completing a craft or tackling a home improvement project.
Younger children can gather supplies, sort materials or help with simple tasks. Older children and teens can take on more responsibility and practice useful skills along the way.
Remember to give yourselves plenty of time. Projects don’t always go according to plan, and children may need breaks, extra instructions or a little patience. The goal isn’t necessarily to finish quickly—it’s to give your children an opportunity to work together.
Take Turns Choosing Family Activities
Your children probably don’t have identical interests—and that’s perfectly normal. One child may love sports while another would rather read, make art or play video games.
It can be tempting to consistently choose activities based on the child who needs the most help with transitions or has a harder time handling disappointment. However, making space for everyone’s interests helps children feel valued and teaches them an important lesson: relationships involve taking turns, compromising and considering what other people enjoy.
Try giving each child a turn to choose a family activity. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. A movie night, trip to the park, baking project or favorite game can all count.
Sibling Arguments: When Should Parents Step In?
Let’s be honest: even the closest siblings are going to argue. Conflict is a normal part of growing up, and what siblings fight about often changes with age.
Younger children may argue over toys, turns or personal space. Older children and teenagers may disagree about privacy, responsibilities, friends or boundaries.
Learning how to disagree respectfully is an important life skill. Children need opportunities to practice resolving conflict, but they also need parents to provide guidance and clear boundaries.
Know When to Give Them Space
Younger children generally need more hands-on help. Toddlers may need frequent reminders about simple family rules, such as keeping their hands to themselves, taking turns and using gentle words.
As children mature, parents can gradually step back and give them more opportunities to handle everyday disagreements themselves.
Make sure your family’s expectations are clear. Rules might include:
- No hitting, kicking or hurting one another.
- Ask before entering a sibling’s bedroom or personal space.
- Use respectful language, even when you’re angry.
- Give each other space when someone needs time to calm down.
If siblings are having a relatively minor disagreement and everyone is safe, consider giving them some time to work it out. They may need to take a break from each other before they’re ready to talk.
Learning to recognize when you need a little time and space to cool down is an important part of managing strong emotions.
Know When to Step In
Sometimes siblings can’t resolve a conflict without help. If an argument is escalating or you are concerned about your child’s physical or emotional well-being, step in.
Try to remain calm and neutral while you listen to what happened. Give each child a chance to explain their perspective before deciding what needs to happen next.
Even when it seems obvious who is responsible for the problem, taking time to listen can help children feel heard and gives you an opportunity to model the calm, respectful communication you’d like them to use themselves.
Make Time for Each Child Individually
Family time is important, but so is spending time alone with each child.
One-on-one time doesn’t have to mean planning an elaborate outing. Look for small opportunities within your normal routine. You might talk together at bedtime, take a walk, run an errand together or let one child take turns helping you with a household task.
When your schedule allows, you can also plan something special, such as a monthly breakfast date or an afternoon where your child gets to choose the activity.
The goal is to give your child your undivided attention and let them know that their thoughts, interests and experiences matter to you. These moments also give parents a chance to slow down and enjoy each child’s unique personality, sense of humor and perspective.
Remember: Children Learn From What They See
One of the most powerful ways to help siblings build healthy relationships is to model those relationships yourself.
Children watch how the adults around them communicate, handle frustration, resolve disagreements and show appreciation for one another. When parents demonstrate patience, respect, empathy and healthy communication, children have an example they can carry into their own relationships.
You don’t have to create a perfectly peaceful household—siblings will still argue! Instead, focus on creating a family environment where everyone feels respected, supported and valued.
With time, patience and plenty of everyday opportunities to connect, you can help your children build a sibling relationship grounded in understanding, respect and appreciation for the people they are becoming.